Sharpie as a Tack

I’ve always been a fan of Sharpies. What’s not to like? They look nice, they smell nice, they taste... well two out of three aint bad. I find it amusing how many variations they’ve managed to make of a simple marker. You got you fine, your ultra fine, your thick, your magnum, your mini, your retractable, and pens. But you think that’s all? Oh no no, my feeble minded sharpie friend. Sharpie goes far beyond the basics. All in total there are 51 different varieties, and that’s not even including all the color options. There are some really bizarre options too. You want to write on the tags of your shirts but can’t sleep at night knowing there is a possibility your initials will come off in the wash? No more with Sharpie Rub-a-Dub Laundry marker. Want to write on your grandma’s antique fine china? Well that’s no problem with the Sharpie peel of China Marker! Need a special marker for CDs? You know Sharpie has you covered. But that’s not even the half of it. You’ve also got an assortment of highlighters, oil based pens, and stainless steel plated markers. Want one? No problem, just be willing to fork over 14 bucks for one.

So you have to ask. Who is buying this stuff? What have we come to that people feel they need Industrial Grade Sharpies? Have we really reached a point of laziness where we don’t have time to take a cap off of a marker? Really? REALLY?

P.S. I got a Sharpie Pen (actually I stole it from my dad... those things are expensive). The major marketing statement: “won’t bleed through paper.” So naturally I did a homework assignment with it. It was only after I had finished the homework that I realized underneath was a Science project I’d been working on for two weeks, marked up with the faded facts of Montezuma II. Way to go Sharpie. Way to go.