Telemarketers are humans. They have carbon, and blood, and pulses... Usually, I'm very tolerant of them. What do I care. They're usually innocent college kids or strange middle aged Indians, just trying to get by. But today, I was ready to destroy the ones that called.
Telemarketers that call my house often call me ma'am. First of all, it's very polite for them to do so, because ma'am is a polite thing to say. However, seeing as I am male, it always feel like a shot at my manhood. So when the nice Indian man called and addressed me as my mother, I just said I was her like normal. I said I didn't want what ever the hell he was selling (cable television, life insurance, curry...etc.) and I hung up and went back to playing Madden '05 (where I was in the middle of creaming the Miami Dolphins) and scored another touch down. I was just kicking off when the phone rang again.
"No this isn't Sharon... This is her son... no I don't need cable... have a lovely day." I hung up on the guy, and maybe two second later, another person calls saying that I won a trip to like the bahamas. I hung up on them to. Doesn't the world know that it's the 3rd quarter and i'm about to destroy the dolphins!?
I sit down, upset, when the stupid phone rings again. That's it, i'm about to destroy this guy. Sure he's probably a nice person, just trying to sell me better internet, but it doesn't matter anymore, this is personal. Here is what i did, step by step so you can follow.
"Hello is this Sharon? Did you know by switching today your internet service provider today you can save hundreds?"
"Really? Tell me more!" (I said this really sarcastically...)
"Well you can-"
"What?"
"Did you know by switching today your internet service provider today you can save hundreds?"
(I wait a good 40 seconds)
"What?"
"Did you know by switching today your internet service provider today you can save hundreds?"
(Another 40 Seconds)
"Yes i knew that"
"Are you interested?
(maybe a minute... or two...)
"What?"
"Is there something wrong with your phone ma'am?"
(At this point i put down the phone, walk away and unpause my game. I do a QB Kneel and win the game. I take my time walking back to the phone. It's been about 3 minutes."
"What?"
"Did you know by switching today your internet service provider today you can save hundreds?"
I was laughing so hard i had to put down the phone.
Moral of the story, when life hands you a telemarketer, make fun of them.
Question of the day: Is it wrong to make fun of somebody you don't know? What if they're an animal? a Plant?
2 comments:
It is mean. You should be nice, Jason. Emily has not taught you well, young padawan.
the other option to do is tell them you are a dead zombie and that you are currently feasting upon the brains of the deceased family that said telemarketer is trying to reach....or you could get a caller id and not pick up. Regardless, you should enjoy making fun of those telemarketers.
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