It's the End of the World as we Know it!

Ladies and Gentlemen. It is my sad duty to inform you that the world is coming to and end. Only in a world on the edge of apocalypse, could the things happen that I have seen just in one sitting of television. Have you seen television before? It's hell in a box! Not only does it suck your time away behind it's colorful screen, it also lies. It is impossible, that the Mets would beat the Phillies, ever, but on TV they've beat them a few times now. Taking peoples hopes and dreams like that is terrible. It's like building someone up just to tear them down. And if this alone is not destroying the earth, commericals are slowing destroying humanity as we know it. Have you seen the McDonald's commericals? Now we can have chicken... FOR BREAKFAST! I can see it now. Obesity explodes out of control. Buildings will crumble under the new weight of humans. If these atrocities weren't bad enough, I now have proof that global warming does not exsist. Weather irregularities are caused by the damage of the space time continuum created by televisions! Televisions have been bending the space time continuum for years. Ever seen an instant replay? Do you realize the damage it's doing to the earth!? Think about our atmosphere like a towel. Take a towel... got it? Great. Now wet it... is it wet? ok Step away from your computer and twist it. Did the water come out? Exactly! As the space time continuum is twisted by these hideous instant replays they scrunch up on the clouds, causing rain! Now keep twisting the towel. Eventually, it stops raining. And its harder to get it to hold water while its so twisted. That's right. The same twisting of the space time continuum that causes rain causes droughts.
Ladies and Gentlemen, we can stop these events in their tracks! Turn off your tv's and turn on the YouTube!